The Friendly Skies

I know that flying an airplane is accomplished via your basic physics, but to me it is as miraculous and mysterious as such modern day conveniences as wifi, bluetooth and microwave ovens. Ok, microwave ovens are old school by now, but I still remember the days when we stuck a potato in there and nuked it within a matter of minutes as a parlor trick. Anyway, my point is, I take these things for granted, and they pretty much work on demand even though I am clueless about the underlying magic. Thus, I can't imagine how the airplane itself remains aloft despite all manner of interference -- storm clouds, other airplanes, meteors -- while the devices within perform on a par with a phone made of soup cans connected with a string.

I'm thinking specifically of the touch screen entertainment system installed on the airplane seat-back. It is a tease. It promises all sorts of diversions: movies, games, GPS tracking, even shopping. But, if the screen responds to anything, it is certainly not a human finger, nor plastic fork, pencil eraser, bobby pin, eyebrow pencil, chopstick or the business end of a toothbrush, all of which I poked fruitlessly at the screen. It is a special kind of hell to be on a 9 hour flight with tantalizing but unreachable access to over 30 full length films.

This is, I realize, a first world problem as the modern saying goes. Boo hoo I am flying to Italy and I can't watch the movies. Add to that, however, that several people's overhead lights would not turn off, so the flight attendants helpfully wrapped them with aluminum foil. And that the life vests feature little straws for you to blow in should they fail to inflate in the event of a "water exit from the cabin." I'm glad there are backup plans, but these things take a toll on your confidence at hurtling over the Atlantic at 35,000 feet.  

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But hey, it is still mind-blowing to me that I can board a plane in California and in a matter of hours walk the streets of Rome surrounded by ancient structures, traditions and culture. So enough with the cranky, and call me lucky instead!